Scrolling Instead of Living
On Wednesday afternoon, I found myself once again mindlessly scrolling through Facebook on my computer.
I’m not sure if scrolling is entirely the right word for it because laptop scrolling is significantly less addictive than phone scrolling (something about using your hands, right?). Whatever it is, it’s still a time suck that leaves me feeling depleted and self-recriminatory.
How could you do this again? How could you waste all this time? You didn’t even enjoy yourself and you know this is going to be the outcome, yet you still do it. What is wrong with you!?
Been there?
If so, you’re part of the vast majority. According to this study, the average American spends between 4-6 hours on their phone per day. That’s over one whole day per week! Even spending only 2 hours every day on your phone means you’re spending more than half a day per week on your phone.
What really got to me during this particular distraction session was a video of a girl renovating one of her spare rooms. As I watched, slouched unattractively (and uncomfortably) on our couch, I had a realization.
Instead of making, doing, and becoming the things I really want in life, I was watching someone else do them over and over again.
Watching someone else put their library together over the span of seven 20-second clips was a lot easier than getting off my butt and sanding down the rough spots and repainting in our own library.
Watching someone else whip up a delicious recipe in mere seconds was a lot easier than pulling out all the ingredients and doing the work myself.
Watching someone else weed their garden and pick flowers from their own cut-flower garden was a lot easier than putting on my gardening gloves and digging into the soil in my own backyard.
We’ve replaced living with watching others live idealized versions of their lives, comparing ourselves to strangers online who we pay with our time to entertain us to death while our own dreams and hopes wither from lack of attention and care.
You can’t taste, touch, feel, smell, or even feel the pleasure of a job well done when watching videos, yet we trade sensory experience for the cheap dopamine hit of yet another satisfying restock video, complete with ASMR.
Enough is enough.
Later, I opened my laptop to type out a schedule to send to the group chat and instead I flicked between sites and articles and photos for two hours. TWO HOURS. This is what the internet is designed to do and it. Is. Terrible.
We are the ones who have to vigilantly guard our time. If we want to live differently, we have to make different choices. We have to sacrifice the cheap dopamine. We have to give up the mindless scrolling. We have to intentionally choose to do hard things to retrain our brains to believe we are, in fact, capable of doing those hard things.
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Lars and I started running together in July of last year. I thought it would be easy to become a runner—a Get Fit Quick ™ scheme. Spoiler alert: it was not.
Not only did my thighs burn with exertion after every run, but our distances were unimpressive. Even on a mere 2km loop, my lungs felt like they had caught fire, and we had to stop for so many walking breaks.
I’d like to tell you that things got easier. That gradually, I have become an elite marathon runner this past year. Believe me, I want it to be so. But it isn’t.
We have improved some, don’t get me wrong. I can now run a 5km without stopping. But can I breathe while running? Not well. Does it still hurt to do it? Yes. Has it gotten easier? Not really.
However, what I can tell you is that my capacity to continue despite the difficulty has increased. I’m not so quick to give up. I’m willing to persevere through the pain because I know that it is temporary and it is producing something good—something resilient within my spirit.
We weren’t created to idle away our time watching others live lives we’ve always wanted. God designed us with intention, purpose, and creativity. But so often, we choose the easy way out, the path of least resistance, because where we want to be is far off, and the climb is daunting.
Let enough is enough be our rallying cry.
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In Philippians, Paul writes to the church about how his mindset has shifted.[1] He used to believe he could make himself “good enough” for God by achieving, doing, and trying desperately to fulfill God’s commands. But slowly, slowly, he realized that wasn’t the solution.
I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.
Philippians 3:12-14, NLT.
This passage is such an encouragement. Many of us look at our past track records and feel immediately disqualified by our past failings. We succumb to an “all or nothing” fallacy, even on a day-to-day basis. But we don’t have to! We are in progress, walking with Jesus, changing little by little every day.
Now let’s circle back to cellphone usage, but look at it from this redemptive perspective:
Have you ever looked at your screentime and felt so absolutely discouraged that you stopped trying to reduce it? Have you ever set a goal that you didn’t reach, so you just gave up on trying? Me too. However, after a heckin’ ton of trial and error, here are nine things that have helped me to truly reduce my screentime.
(P.S. I’m not perfect with these, but I am a lot better than I used to be, and baby steps are slowly getting me towards my goals.)
1. Do a Screentime Audit
To start, you’ll have to do a screentime audit. Look in your settings at how much time you are currently spending on your phone and determine how much time you really want to give to your device. What’s the difference between those two numbers?
Once you know the extent of what you’re dealing with, you can start with these easy action steps!
2. Install Minimalist Phone
I talk about this interface a lot, but it’s because it’s SO helpful. And it’s not a subscription, which is my favourite thing ever. This system allows you to block apps for up to a month at a time, and you can set it up to delay an app from opening, giving you time to decide whether the wait is worth it.
3. Get Rid of Troublesome Apps
In the settings of your phone, you should be able to look at your screentime and identify which apps are using up most of your time. You can then either block them, uninstall them, or have a friend change the password so you can’t access them as easily. And if you have any social media or applications that give you analytics or metrics on how your posts perform, DELETE THESE IMMEDIATELY. It might surprise you how much brain space this frees up for you.
I do sometimes have social media apps on my phone, but for the most part, I’ve deleted any and all “fun” apps from my phone. No games, no social media. Endless scrolling or hours on my phone is just too easy when these apps are easily accessible.
4. Charge Your Phone Outside Of Your Bedroom
Setup your charging station in another room. Mine’s currently in our kitchen, and around 8:30 or 9:00 pm, I put my phone away for the night. It may be more effective if you power your phone down, but some people don’t like being completely cut off from their notifications. Either way, charging your phone in another room means you don’t use your phone right before you sleep, nor do you grab it first thing. How you start your day matters!
5. Turn Off Specific Notifications
For the most part, I don’t get notifications from any social media apps. It helps that I don’t have them installed on my phone, but any that I do have, I turn off. You can also set notification preferences and have all of your notifications delivered in one batch at a specified time. One of my goals that I haven’t quite attained yet is to respond to all of my messages at the same time once or twice per day, except for same-day immediate action required notifications.
*Note: I do still get notifications for text/messaging apps and emails.
6. Leave Your Phone At Home/Have Quiet Hours
When Lars and I make quick trips to the grocery store or when I go to church, I’ve started leaving my phone at home. I know not everyone feels comfortable with this and you totally don’t have to try it, but it is kind of helpful. Alternatively, you could completely turn your phone off but still bring it along. That way, you’re not getting distracted with notifications but should an emergency arise, you have a way to deal with it.
Some quick notes about this:
You may want to start carrying a notebook to record anything you’d typically use your phone for
You could leave your phone in the car instead of at home if the thought of being without it terrifies you.
Consider how many emergencies you’ve had to use your phone for. Does it really need to come everywhere with you? I’ve locked my phone and keys in my car at least twice before (I KNOW) and was able to use a store phone both times to call for help. You are a resourceful, capable human being who can figure out what to do in hard situations!
7. Plan Ahead + Pack a Book
Whenever I’m waiting for an appointment and I’ve failed to think ahead, I will scroll on my phone. I’ve started keeping a book in my bag so that when I’m out and about and find I’m waiting for a friend to show up at a coffee shop or waiting for an appointment, I can read instead of scrolling. If you’re on Goodreads, this can also help you reach your yearly reading goals!
8. Find an Alternative Activity
For many of us, scrolling is a way that we cope with our chaotic, overwhelming lives. I definitely notice an uptick in my screentime when I’m feeling heavy emotions, particularly overwhelm. It’s a lot more comfortable to distract myself with quick dopamine than wading through the difficulty.
In the summer, when I deleted Instagram, I started playing a lot of games on my phone. It was horrible. I’m not even a game-player usually, but I found myself addicted to the cheap highs of mobile games. If you are having a hard time reducing your phone use, it could be because it’s serving some function in your life.
You might have to sit with the discomfort for awhile, asking God to show you what it is that you need. Maybe you’ll need to journal it out.
Another thing that can help is replacing scrolling with a tactile experience. Maybe try baking. Grow a sourdough starter. Learn to crochet. Call a friend for a chat. Go for a walk. Try making one of the ideas on your Pinterest board. The options are so customizable! But know that it will likely feel uncomfortable and really difficult at the start. KEEP GOING.
9. Give Yourself Loads of Grace
Unlearning old patterns is hard. Sometimes you’ll have weeks of great progress, but then immediately after, you’ll crash and fall back into your old ways. What matters in that moment is refusing the all-or-nothing fallacy and beginning again. The encouraging thing is that you’re not starting from scratch. You’ve made progress, you’ve started moving forward. You can pick up right where you left off and get a little bit better every day.
Ask God for help! Pray that He will help you to be still before Him. Ask Him to remind you to honor Him with your time. Sit in silence with Him.
And y’know what? Gradually, your screentime will decrease. You just have to keep at it. It will fluctuate, that’s just the nature of the beast. But overall, it will lessen if you remain committed to making it a priority.
So yeah, those are a few of the things that have really helped me to reduce my screentime. As always, these are based on my personal experiences and current stage of life and may not be directly applicable to your situation—if so, take what is helpful, and discard the rest. My goal is only ever to share what may be helpful, so if this is not that for you, that’s okay!
And now, friend, let’s forget the past and push on to the things that lie ahead because enough is enough, and it’s time to live messily instead of scrolling. Are you with me?
